Thursday, December 10, 2009 ♥
10:00 AM ; cat and mouse
you know what.. i dunno wat to do.. seriously.. everyone's telling me to give up.. but.. i dunno. fucking troubled la..
okay.. wat happened today was really fucked up. i dunno la... i just feel fucking down. but nvm.. i guess wat's done is done? cant change the past la.. but really... i feel that im being two timed somehow? well.. i guess its cause life's fucked up. there are few happy moments but it usually doesnt last long. i really really really feel fucked up la... but i cant show tt right? ill just keep quiet like i always do. i think its better to keep it to myself... the feeling is like.. heavy heated with hate and stuff .. like you wanna cry.. but you cant.. you just cant....
i went running tonight even tho all those things happen... just to cool down and think i guess? i actually took time to just... lie down and stare up at the stars... and to my luck... spotted a shooting star agen.. and agen... jaemeng was with me.. charlotte too but.. they didnt see it cuz their too busy throwing rubber stuff at me .... i actually wanna lay down there for a longer time but... they want me to go back to the apartment with them. i love the stars and the night... it makes me calm and seem problem-less? no more stress for tests, homeworks, love? ... SHIT! i sound fucking EMO! i hate fucking EMO! ah.. this is my blog.. fuck care... ill type watever i feel like.
in my mind right now:
1. wat am i gonna do next? i guess its my turn to move?
2. i wanna throw my heart away.
3. should i say somethin? or just keep everythin to myself and wait?
4. i think i need to take it out and talk to someone...
5. the person tt i thought will be there for me always gives negative advices ... wtf
still wondering..
yes i am thinkin.
L♥VE. 10:00 AM ♥
Im kevin :)